As a veteran, I’ve spent numerous years fighting the demons in my head alone. I drank myself to sleep most nights after my deployment to Iraq in 2008. Physically, I came home, but mentally and spiritually, something had shifted in me, and it wasn’t for the best. I was full of rage, anger, hate, resentment, and trauma built up since childhood, but it made me good at my job and it was praised. Even though I was in this Brotherhood, there weren’t many that I could confide in due to the stigma of being considered weak. I was completely overwhelmed with guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation.
After drinking the symptoms away for a decade, the wheels finally came off on March 6, 2018. Leading up to this incident I had three deaths in my family, my wife was threatening to leave me, and I had sustained a traumatic brain injury the month before. My life was in complete chaos and turmoil. I found myself in a Xanax- and alcohol-induced flashback, barricading myself in my home. I had a pistol on me and I was going to take my own life in fear the enemy would capture me. Luckily in my stupor I called my best friend who also got hold of some guys from the team and our team psychologist. One of my teammates was able to talk to the police officers on scene and deescalate the situation.
From there, I underwent various inpatient treatments for alcohol and drug rehabilitation, Post Traumatic Stress (PTS), and traumatic brain injury (TBI). I followed each of those treatment programs to the best of my ability, but I couldn’t find complete relief. I was committed to staying alcohol free, I swallowed every pill the doctors threw at me, and was in talk therapy weekly—but I was still ready to end my life.
After four years remaining sober from alcohol and trying all that Western medicine had to offer, on October 1, 2021, one of my Special Warfare Combat Crewman brothers took his own life. I had previously found Veterans Exploring Treatment Solutions (VETS) through online searches but was hesitant to apply because I felt that there were guys worse off than me or had more deployments than me; in my mind, I wasn’t “that bad.” But after my teammate took his own life, I knew I wasn’t too far behind him. I applied for a grant and went to Mexico in January 2022.
My experience with psychedelic therapy was the single most spiritual experience of my life. It has given me a new lease on life, true love for myself and others, and most importantly, a relationship with the Almighty God. Psychedelic-assisted therapy is not a magic pill, but it was an opportunity to shift my perceptions and work on becoming the best version of myself FOR myself. With the support of trained therapists, I was finally able to reframe my traumatic experiences and find a sense of peace that had long eluded me. The therapy taught me that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength—a crucial part of healing that allowed me to reconnect with the camaraderie I had missed since leaving the military.
We need to change how we treat veterans in Texas and across the country. The VA and mental health providers must expand access to innovative treatments like psychedelic-assisted therapy, which has shown incredible promise in studies and personal stories alike. It’s time to challenge outdated notions of masculinity that prevent many of us from seeking help and embrace treatments that allow us to be vulnerable, open, and honest about our struggles. We cannot afford to ignore solutions that work simply because they challenge the status quo.
To my fellow veterans: You are not alone, and your battle is not in vain. I urge our community, our healthcare providers, and our lawmakers to support research and access to psychedelic-assisted therapies. Let’s redefine what it means to be strong—to be a warrior. It’s time to break free from the stigma, embrace innovation, and give veterans the tools they need to heal. For many of us, this is not just about treatment—it’s about survival.
As someone who has walked the line between hope and despair, I’m proof that there is another way. Psychedelic-assisted therapy offered me a second chance at life, and I believe it can do the same for many others. It’s time to stop fighting this battle alone and start exploring new paths to healing. The brotherhood we built on the battlefield can continue off it if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to reach out, and to support one another in our healing journeys. The future of veteran mental health depends on it.
About Brandon
Brandon Bryan, Veterans Exploring Treatment Solutions (VETS) Ambassador, is a Retired Special Boat Operator who served 20 years in the United States Navy. A resident of Tyler, Texas, he is now an advocate for innovative mental health treatments for veterans, including psychedelic-assisted therapy.