My 3rd Re-Birthday
10 Integration Techniques I Still Practice Daily
By Chris “CT” Thompson
VETS Director of Community Engagement
VETS Foundational Healing Grant Recipient
Retired Army Green Beret
Three years ago, on July 31st, 2021 I would sit up out of a bed in Mexico and my life would be changed in the most positive way. Thanks to VETS, I was able to receive a Foundational Healing Grant for psychedelic-assisted therapy treatment with ibogaine and 5MeO-DMT.
Before going through treatment, I had planned to journal every detail of whatever my experience would be. However, when I came out of the treatment, I didn’t initially write much at all. Partly this was because I spent hours talking with the facilitators about what I had experienced. My way of processing was to vocalize my experience and talk through my thoughts. I also didn’t write much initially because I was beginning to experience a new and great life for myself and I just wanted to enjoy the present moment.
Despite this, one thing I did write was that I wanted to celebrate this day, July 31st, every year as a re-birthday. I wrote that I wanted to celebrate this day more than I ever would a birthday. I wouldn’t describe the experience as getting my life back. I would describe it as the first day of my new life. Which to me, is better. I see it as a day to celebrate being alive and celebrate the life I have been given. At the one-year mark, my family, some friends, and I were able to do just that. I was also able to carve out some time to reflect.
Looking back over the past three years, both my wife and my integration coach have commented on how I have put in quite a bit of work. I actually don’t feel that way. Prior to treatment, trying to make one of these positive changes I’ve now made would have been extremely difficult and it would have really felt like work. Psychedelic-assisted therapy treatment revealed to me the option of choosing a better path - although it was still up to me to choose to walk down it.
When I got home, I felt so good, I knew I was going to do whatever it took to keep this going. I believe all of the things I’ve done and maintained over the last three years have not only sustained what I received from treatment but also allowed me to continue to improve.
Here are my top ten integration techniques for maintaining the mental and physical well being I’ve come to enjoy and cherish since experiencing psychedelic -assisted therapy treatment.
1. Paying Attention to What I’m Putting In My Body
As a part of our preparation framework, we were asked to avoid watching the news or any violent movies and TV shows. When I came back, although not required, I decided to keep this practice going. I learned what we are putting into our bodies, not just food, but also what we are viewing or listening to can really affect how we think, feel, and impact how we view the world.
I’ve not watched the news since. I no longer watch much TV, aside from something educational like a good documentary. The music or podcasts I listen to now are similar - either positive, or provide education and inspiration. I feel that avoiding the negative aspects of media, and social media, has a positive impact on my overall happiness.
2. Journaling
As I mentioned earlier, I didn’t do much journaling while in Mexico but over the last three years, it has now become one of my daily habits. Each morning I answer a few prompts based on positive psychology and gratitude. Many studies show gratitude is associated with better physical and psychological health, greater happiness, an increase in life satisfaction, decreased materialism, and the potential to adopt healthier habits (Allen, 2018). After answering a few prompts, if I have other things on my mind beyond that I will write those out as well. There are several positive benefits to journaling including the possibility of overcoming trauma by writing 15-20 minutes a day, four days a week (Mirgain and Singles, 2016).
3. Meditation
The number one recommendation VETS has for grant recipients during integration is to meditate. I took this very seriously and over the past three years I’ve had the opportunity to attend three formal meditation courses that VETS offered. I also attended one of the weekly Kundalini Yoga classes which kickstarted me further exploring this type of practice on my own. I still attend a weekly meditation with VETS for grant recipients and practice each day on my own.
When I started out, I struggled to meditate for 10 minutes. I showed up every day to meditate, and some felt like good sessions, while some…my mind just ran through all kinds of different thoughts. I learned that if I make the time to meditate, there’s no such thing as a bad meditation session. Today I aim to meditate for about one hour each day. I couldn’t have imagined getting to this point in the beginning but, over time, I found what worked for me and incrementally got better.
4. Sleep Hygiene
Before treatment, I had gone through at least a decade of poor sleep. Either I couldn’t fall asleep, couldn’t stay asleep, or some combination of the two. It’s strange to think how I even functioned, now knowing how a lack of sleep affects the brain, endocrine system, and your overall ability to function properly.
While in Mexico, I learned about good sleep hygiene practices such as avoiding screens before bed, going to sleep and waking up around the same time each day, avoiding caffeine, getting sunlight, especially in the morning, and creating a nighttime routine so my body knows that it’s time to go to sleep.
Although I slept maybe one hour the first four days after ibogaine, I started working on my sleep hygiene to see what would happen. I then found myself sleeping close to 12 hours a night for the next two weeks. I felt this was more of my body healing and somewhat getting caught up on all the missed sleep. My sleep has since leveled off to around six to eight hours a night.
After some initial success in getting good sleep, and knowing what that felt like, I knew I was going to do whatever I could to keep this going. After a year of being very intentional about my sleep hygiene, I’m happy to report that I have never had better, consistent sleep. It’s easy to overlook what a gift this is unless you’ve gone so long without it.
5. Caffeine and Alcohol
Before going through treatment, I had some great preparation calls with my coach. During our conversations, my coach recognized that I had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. My coach asked me if I would like to stop drinking after I came back from Mexico. I told her that I thought that would be nice but I didn’t see it happening.
But when I first got back home, I didn’t feel like I needed alcohol. I had love, compassion, and gratitude for myself like I’d never known. For me, if I truly cared about myself, I didn’t need to put alcohol in my body. Then the next day would come and I would feel that again - like I didn’t need it. I took this day by day which turned into weeks, then months, and now has turned into a whole three years without alcohol.
I will admit that I spent a lot of time processing different situations without alcohol like going to dinner, hanging out with friends, going to bars, or any public place. At times I was concerned my friends might not want to hang out with me because I wasn’t drinking anymore or that people were going to think I wasn’t as much fun. I have had people say things like, “Let me know when you start drinking so we can hang out again”. Some may think hearing something like that would be hurtful but it wasn’t at all. I’ve learned what brings me peace and happiness and not everyone is at that same place in their journey.
About a month after treatment, my family and I were invited to a college football game. At the start of the day, we spent some time at the hotel pool and they were serving alcohol but I didn’t feel any pressure to drink. Afterward, we went to a tailgate where I was offered a mixed drink and turned it down. Then we went to another tailgate which had unlimited free beer. Times before I would have tried to find out if there was a limit but I didn’t this day. When we entered the stadium, my wife’s cousin bought and handed me a huge beer. I was very thankful for the gesture but I ended up handing it to a friend.
At the end of the day, I reflected on whether or not I did the right thing by not drinking at all. Was I as fun? Did I hurt relationships by not drinking with friends I normally would have? Was I preventing connection with others? I asked myself a lot of questions to determine if I was on the right path. When the next morning came, our then-nine-year-old son was up early and ready to play. Being rested, fully present, ready to spend time with him, and feeling like a million bucks, I knew I was doing the right thing.
In addition to no longer drinking alcohol, I also recognized I had an unhealthy relationship with caffeine. In the last year, I also have not had one drop of caffeinated coffee or energy drinks. Before treatment, I was living off of them - likely due to my lack of quality sleep. Avoiding caffeine and alcohol has been great for me and I’m thankful for the good example I’m providing for my son.
6. Environment
Returning from treatment, you begin to recognize that some people in your life, and possibly the environment you’re in, are unhealthy for you. With this newfound care for myself, I began putting up healthy boundaries that I never had before. This meant saying “no” to A LOT of things. I ended up changing jobs for something that would be a better fit. I stopped giving my time to those who were constantly negative or who would overly drain my energy. It can take months, or longer, to implement some of these changes but doing so has been so healthy for me in many ways.
7. Coaching
I cannot emphasize how critical it has been to work with my coach for preparation and integration. Having never had a psychedelic experience before, she was very helpful in preparing me for treatment and ensuring my mindset and intentions were exactly where they needed to be. After treatment, I knew no one back home with whom I could share this experience and who would truly have an idea of what I had gone through.
Having a preparation and integration coach has been wonderful in that I have someone I can talk with who understands what this experience was like. My coach continues to be a great resource to share with and learn from. She has been so helpful that I still meet with her regularly. Working with a good coach is one of my top recommendations for preparation and integration when considering pursuing psychedelic-assisted therapy. I’m very thankful VETS offers this as a resource for all grant recipients.
8. Mindset
Working on my mindset is something that I prioritize each day and this can take dedicated effort at times. There are many aspects to this part of my journey but I’ll highlight a few key areas I focus on. Dropping a lot of the negative thought patterns that I previously had, and maintaining a positive mindset, has created a tremendous shift.
Staying focused on the present moment, letting go of what I can’t control, making the changes I want to see, appreciating each experience, being curious, and staying out of judgment have been significant for me. Part of this ties into being careful about the content that I’m listening to and viewing. Even though this is an ongoing practice, I do not doubt that the opportunities and abundance I’m currently experiencing have come from this shift in my mindset.
9. Support
I’ve been extremely fortunate to have my wife, Becca, be so supportive of my healing journey in so many ways. She’s always encouraged me when I needed it and, most importantly, has been there for me even during my most challenging times. As soon as I was selected as a grant recipient she began attending all of the calls that were available to her through VETS as a spouse. I’m thankful for her taking my healing seriously and playing an active role.
Returning from treatment, she made sure that there was nothing I had to worry about when I got home and was ready to support me - whatever that may look like. Ultimately that was allowing me the space to process my experience and be open to how I wanted to make positive changes in my life.
While in Mexico, I learned that there was a retreat through VETS for spouses. At that time, I had the thought that my wife would never do something like this. However, after several months of her seeing the benefits that I received and the changes I made, she applied to be a grant recipient. Her being able to go through treatment has been a tremendous blessing. Even though we had a great relationship before treatment, it has grown even deeper. Although not necessary for every couple, It’s been really helpful for me to have the person you are closest to have an understanding of your experience. Most importantly having that person join you in the healing journey in whatever way that may look like. Becca is one of the greatest gifts of my life and I would not be where I am without her.
10. Diet and Exercise
Over the past few years I have avoided a lot of sweets, and overall eaten healthier. Fortunately my wife, who was able to receive a treatment grant as well, does much of the cooking so I can mainly attribute my improvement in nutrition to her. Exercise was very much a part of my life beforehand and so this was more of maintaining a good habit I already had. I feel strongly that having a good diet and exercise routine helps me overall to function better. Over the past year, my body composition has leaned out a lot. Much closer to what it was more than ten years ago.
I’m not going to say that every day since treatment has gone exactly like I hoped, but I know my life only continues to get better because of the integration techniques I’ve implemented and maintained. Although psychedelics can help, our post-treatment choices and habits are up to us, and arguably more important than the treatment itself.
This experience has shown me a path to a great life, but it is still up to me to walk down it.
“Bwiti offers us a warning about the limits of psychedelics. Practitioners of Bwiti, even those who regularly take iboga, still have the normal problems of life. Their relationships sometimes fall apart, their jobs can be unsatisfying, they get sick and die, and they experience the same existential emptiness that inflicts all humans. Iboga offers relief and can be of enormous help in times of crisis, but it does not save them from the basic dilemma of being alive. In the same way, psychedelics can doubtlessly offer a lot to Western civilization, but they cannot solve all our problems” (Frank and Taub, 2012, p. 12).
I’m extremely thankful for VETS and all of the opportunities for support they have provided me and others. This has been life-changing and I could never repay all that has been given to me and my family.
“I have seen Chris put in a lot of hard work with preparation and integration. His hard work has paid off, continues to pay off, and I couldn’t be more proud. His transformation has been incredible and he only continues to get better and that has spread to our son and myself. I am extremely thankful for this gift from VETS. I got my husband back and in an even better version of himself, his true self.” - Becca Thompson
References
Allen, S. (2018, May). White Paper - University of California, Berkeley. The Science of Gratitude. https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Gratitude-FINAL.pdf
Frank, P., & Taub, E. (2012). Ibogaine explained: Everything you need to know about the world’s most powerful psychedelic. Create Space.
Mirgain, S., & Singles, J. (2016). Therapeutic journaling - veterans affairs. Therapeutic Journaling. Retrieved August 30, 2022, from https://www.va.gov/WHOLEHEALTHLIBRARY/docs/Therapeutic-Journaling.pdf